Ajax

I know I wrote before that we were settling in. I thought that was true, but I was mostly wrong. I had gotten used to some new things, such as cooking in a new kitchen with a new stove. I could find the grocery store. I had a bus card.

But this week, this week actually felt “normal”. It is coming to the end of week four now in Edinburgh. I had anticipated that once the jet lag waned and the kids had a week or so in our new digs, we would all be rarin’ to go.  Not quite.

My girl adapted much more quickly than I anticipated, and my boy not at all. He was angry. A lot.  He didn’t want to leave the apartment. We had conflicts ALL THE TIME, and it was draining. I tend to take on intense emotions of others, anyway, and the negativity from my little guy was bringing me down. I felt helpless, like I had ruined his life by dragging him to Scotland.  And here we were, committed to five more months here. What the heck had we done?

I think that, under the angry outbursts, was confusion and fear. Ajax is five years old. All he has ever known is our house back home, our friends we see every week, everything quite predictable and secure. Then we pack up our suitcases, send the family dog to a friend’s house, and hop on a plane. I didn’t know until several days ago that he thought that we probably sold our house and wouldn’t be going back there.

So, going into last weekend, Ben and I decided to have some one-on-one time with the kids. Ajax got to hike up Arthur’s Seat again, and N and I had a fun time in the city. Slowly, we are finding things the boy likes here. He can’t get enough of the swimming pool, and he has started asking to go grocery shopping with us. There is a plush turtle at the library he likes to snuggle.

This week, instead of starting out with my sightseeing agenda, we stayed home and hung out.  The big event of the week was walking to the library. Tomorrow is swimming. Otherwise, it has been park time, shopping, Pokemon, books, and a lot of Terraria. N has started preparing dinner on Thursdays, so I become support staff to her culinary whims. A is back to the normal precocious kid, minus most of the anger. He came to me this afternoon for a healthy round of honking each other’s noses, which I take as a good sign.

I have had the gift of some time off, twice, thanks to my spouse, and it was the recharge I needed after a couple of intense weeks. It’s strange to be immersed in a new place, a new city, full of the joy of exploration, while your kid is so unhappy. I wanted him to be happy, too. I think we are getting there now, for reals.

Stay tuned for next week’s installment, after we move to our next (and final) flat. I don’t think the upheaval will be dramatic this time, but if it is, I’ve learned to be more patient, more reassuring. I'll wait it out.