Ajax

I know I wrote before that we were settling in. I thought that was true, but I was mostly wrong. I had gotten used to some new things, such as cooking in a new kitchen with a new stove. I could find the grocery store. I had a bus card.

But this week, this week actually felt “normal”. It is coming to the end of week four now in Edinburgh. I had anticipated that once the jet lag waned and the kids had a week or so in our new digs, we would all be rarin’ to go.  Not quite.

My girl adapted much more quickly than I anticipated, and my boy not at all. He was angry. A lot.  He didn’t want to leave the apartment. We had conflicts ALL THE TIME, and it was draining. I tend to take on intense emotions of others, anyway, and the negativity from my little guy was bringing me down. I felt helpless, like I had ruined his life by dragging him to Scotland.  And here we were, committed to five more months here. What the heck had we done?

I think that, under the angry outbursts, was confusion and fear. Ajax is five years old. All he has ever known is our house back home, our friends we see every week, everything quite predictable and secure. Then we pack up our suitcases, send the family dog to a friend’s house, and hop on a plane. I didn’t know until several days ago that he thought that we probably sold our house and wouldn’t be going back there.

So, going into last weekend, Ben and I decided to have some one-on-one time with the kids. Ajax got to hike up Arthur’s Seat again, and N and I had a fun time in the city. Slowly, we are finding things the boy likes here. He can’t get enough of the swimming pool, and he has started asking to go grocery shopping with us. There is a plush turtle at the library he likes to snuggle.

This week, instead of starting out with my sightseeing agenda, we stayed home and hung out.  The big event of the week was walking to the library. Tomorrow is swimming. Otherwise, it has been park time, shopping, Pokemon, books, and a lot of Terraria. N has started preparing dinner on Thursdays, so I become support staff to her culinary whims. A is back to the normal precocious kid, minus most of the anger. He came to me this afternoon for a healthy round of honking each other’s noses, which I take as a good sign.

I have had the gift of some time off, twice, thanks to my spouse, and it was the recharge I needed after a couple of intense weeks. It’s strange to be immersed in a new place, a new city, full of the joy of exploration, while your kid is so unhappy. I wanted him to be happy, too. I think we are getting there now, for reals.

Stay tuned for next week’s installment, after we move to our next (and final) flat. I don’t think the upheaval will be dramatic this time, but if it is, I’ve learned to be more patient, more reassuring. I'll wait it out.

Polite Humility

     It's late Friday afternoon, and I've holed up in the kitchen with a simmering pot of spaghetti sauce, Spotify, and my laptop.  My tendency to turn to food in celebration, to seek comfort, to find joy, is no less true here in Edinburgh.  Sometimes, it's the take-out that Ben brings home.  Other nights, I figure out what and how to cook a meal without my cookbooks or familiar brands of ingredients.  I did cheat a bit and brought a small number of photocopied favorite recipes, or took snapshots of my well-worn favorites with my phone camera.  Last week, we stuck to the basics, using just salt and pepper. While wholesome and good, I yearned for those, well, spicier spices. My local contact, D, told me about a Chinese market nearby which ended up having my familiar brand of curry paste and a few others necessities to make Thai yellow curry with chicken and potatoes.  It lacked a bit in flavor, as I didn't have chicken broth or fish sauce.  Next time, I will not repeat the same mistake.
     N got her favorite mom-made chicken tikka, even though every block around these parts has Indian take-out.  Ben made meat balls earlier in the week.  Tonight, after another week of wandering the city with very little savvy, I'm ready for pasta.
   
     I sort of thought, after a week or so, I'd feel less clueless, possibly more comfortable navigating the normally mundane happenings of life with two kids.  Not so.  I'm still screwing up all kinds of things, and it's good for me.  It is humbling, as an adult, educated, capable individual, to be thrown into the unfamiliar. Why? Um, not sure, but it's good.
     I concentrated so fully yesterday on making sure the kids get their bus passes in the correct slot, I received a reprimand from the driver about leaving my bus pass card on the reader too long. What a doob. So, in humility, I thank him politely and sincerely.  At the grocery store, I separated a two-pack of chorizo, only wanting one.  The clerk had to send someone back to the aisle to retrieve my other half. Duh. Read the sign, people. Apparently, I took home half of what I paid for last time.  Live and learn.
     Used to having public restrooms at most places back home, A almost had an accident at Sainsbury's Local.  Fortunately, we were able to make it to the park facility, with the help of green lights at the intersections without waiting.  Then back to the store.

     And, the kids. Our obviously American kids. They usually get to make a lot of their own choices. We give options with many things. But not with Scotland. Ben and I made the decision, and they are still very much coping with all the changes we've thrown them into.  Yes, it's for the best, and yes, it's a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But they're still trying to figure things out, just like I am. We have many discussions about walking safely on the narrow sidewalks, pointing out how close to the curb the cars have to drive. We are working on voice volume, behavior. We are trying to figure out ways to wait for the bus that don't involve flailing around loudly in the stream of passers-by.  We talk about "how kids behave in Scotland". If I get these two back home to Minnesota in once piece, I will count this whole experience as a success. They are learning. Grumpy Safety Mom needs to chill out.
     They got to go to an indoor playground today, which they loved. We met Ben there for lunch. It turned out that they didn't have much available for lunch, or so I thought until we were ready to leave, and hungry again after sharing a cheese sandwich and fruit drink and soup. Yup. They had a full menu sitting on the tables. Not our table, obviously, but other tables. Super smart of me. Well, now we know for next time.  And I bought everybody cookies to make up for it.
 
     So, polite humility in the face of meeting our new town with eager anticipation. It's the way to go. Having a good laugh once in a while helps, too. There will be a comfort zone again one day and, until then, I will embrace the adventure. And the pasta.

Getting Settled

     Our first several days here in Edinburgh have gone well, overall. The kids have had some emotional ups and downs. Each of them had one notable tantrum-like event, but mostly seem to be getting used to the new normal. N loves Scottish eggs, for some reason, and A is a fan of Irn Bru, the most popular soft drink in the country. Its flavor is a cross between orange soda and bubble gum.
     The kids and I now have library cards and have enjoyed the bright, pleasant children's section at the Central Library. N discovered a British chapter book series she hadn't seen back home. We were only able to bring limited number of books with us, so the library access is a godsend. Our flat for this month is very near a large playground, and our shared back garden has a serviceable trampoline, so our very energetic children are getting the exercise they need.
     Ben and I have been enjoying the French press in our kitchen, sharing a quiet cup of coffee in the morning before he leaves for work. He has been walking all over the city on his way to and from work, or taking the bus home if it's raining. He suggested I take some time for myself on Saturday, and I jumped at the chance to have some independence for a while.
     The kids and I explored the National Museum of Scotland this week for check out the T-Rex skeleton and to look around a bit. During my free time Saturday, I returned alone to view the "Celts" exhibit. What a joy, to read all the texts and take as much time as I wanted to!  It was the best museum experience in my memory.
   
     I've been thinking a lot about the challenges of these first days, and the closest thing I can liken it to is changing high schools in the middle of the semester. Where is my locker, anyway? People walk by and know we aren't from around here. No one thing stands out as vastly different than what we were used to back home, yet everything is new. We are starting from scratch with finding the things we need -- grocery stores, transportation, meeting new people. For example, even the cooktop in the flat presented something new. You first need to switch on the power on the wall. Then you turn on the cooktop. Then you set the burners to the right temperature. If the toaster isn't working, check the wall switch. Need hot water for coffee or tea? Use the electric kettle on the counter. All of the newness takes a lot of concentration and is exhausting.
   
     This weekend, though, felt like a transition from total newbie to slightly more comfortable temporary resident. I reached out to a contact I'd met through our landlord, and we had a spontaneous meet-up on Friday. I had my first lengthy conversation with a friendly local, and just that one conversation made me feel somehow less alone here.

     Yesterday, our family set out on the city bus to have lunch together, followed by a hike up Calton Hill. It was a beautiful day, great for views of the surrounding city. We followed a trail down past the Robert Burns Monument to the Palace of Holyroodhouse, past the Scottish Parliament, and then paired off to make our ways home -- A with Ben through the valley behind Arthur's Seat, N with me through the city. We all slept very well last night.

Day 1 in Edinburgh

Our long layover in Amsterdam was fairly uneventful. Just tired travelers. Friday ended up well, with a taxi ride on the left side of the road to our flat. The taxi driver was chatty and told us all about places around town.  He also told us that the Edinburgh Zoo has a fine specimen of the wild Haggis. Thank goodness I'd done some research before embarking on this journey, or else I may have been fooled :). After getting unpacked, Ben found a grocery store and an Indian take-out place nearby. We were all in bed by 9:00 PM local time.

After breakfast at home, we started our first day in Edinburgh at a playground.  It was packed with people.  I assume that sunny Saturdays are in short supply here in the early spring. After the playground, we walked along a foot path through The Meadows leading north into Old Town.  We ate falafel on King George IV Bridge, found a public restroom at a museum, and located the Central Library. The Old Town is pretty amazing. I can't get enough of the atmosphere, with the stone architecture and bustling sidewalks.

We turned east at the Royal Mile and cut through to Cockburn Street by way of Jackson’s Close, a narrow, downhill-sloping alley between two Old Town buildings.  Our destination was Waverly Station Post Office to pick up Ben’s biometrics card.  Now he has all his documentation to work here for six months. Then we stopped at the Lothian Bus office and got set up with bus tickets.  Our first bus ride was from The Mound back to The Meadows.

After some chill out time back at the flat, we spent a drizzly 15 minutes at the park before heading to The Southern for dinner and drinks. Here is Car Moose, our steadfast traveling companion, next to my delicious margarita:

All in all, a pretty dang nice day.

Departure Day

Our extensive spreadsheet with checklists for our checklists has served us well.  We had ten minutes to sit and relax this afternoon before SuperShuttle picked us up.

Adventure Girl’s decision about which stuffed animals to take was a weeks-long process, finally culminating in a compromise solution in which Puppy chose to stay behind to take care of the other guys who stayed home.  Many animals, however, in a generous parental effort to make the move less stressful for the kids, were able to make the trip.

Our SuperShuttle ride was smooth.  The other passengers had a chance to hear a typical conversation about various subjects, ranging from rhyming words to what insects the kids like and dislike, the relationship between aphids and ladybugs, names for Ajax’s transformer, and an argument about who was sitting in whose car seat.

In our effort to pack lightly, we decided on only two large suitcases plus two small carry-on size cases.  Well. . . that only sort of worked out.  One of the suitcases was five pounds too heavy.  As we were about to pay an overage fee, we found out that our other suitcase was 85 pounds! Since there was no space in any of our other bags to shift the contents, we ended up buying an extra bag for $25. Thank you, Delta Special Services!

What, you may ask, caused a suitcase to weigh 85 pounds?  Well, because we will not just be traveling, but also living some semblance of a normal life, we packed stuff to do.  We have card games, party games, art supplies, books, and (true confessions) my favorite shampoo, hand lotion, and other personal hygiene products for a family of four. The kids also, as previously mentioned, packed some plush toys for their creative play. I’m guessing there are a few dozen, filling both kids’ backpacks and one small suitcase. It all adds up.

They conveniently had scales available at the airport, so after a bit of shifting contents and re-weighing, we only needed to pay for one extra bag.  Whew!

All in all, considering we are basically moving to a different home, albeit temporarily, I think we did OK.  One day, when the kids are all grown up,  I’ll be able to travel with my carry-on pack and no checked bags.  Until then, we roll with lots of luggage.